12 12 / 2010
Feminist Blogging Frustrations
I write for a feminist gaming blog. In fact, I’m the Lead Editor (which is my title because I own the website, not because I actually have more say than our other two editors).
I am new to feminism within the last year. I am still learning terms and learning about what is offensive to people and what isn’t. And I keep fucking up the terms over and over again while writing. Every time I write a post and publish it, I’m called out about another offensive word that I didn’t know was patronizing or offensive.
Some of them were really obvious learnings and I’m glad that I now am more careful. I’ve been called out for saying things like “how do you guys feel about this?” when I should not call everyone ‘guys’. I’ve been called out for referring to something as ‘lame’ in a derogatory way, which I fully deserved.
Now, in a post I put up last night I’m being called out for using the word ‘female’. I’m being told that it’s dehumanizing and clinical to refer to people by their gender. This post talks more about why the use of the word female as a noun is sexist.
How can anyone ramp into feminism without feeling barraged by people being offended at every corner? Now the word FEMALE is offensive? I don’t mean to be rude towards other feminists at all, but I have to say that a lot of times the criticism goes too far. I feel like I can’t write to a feminist audience because I might completely fuck things up.
I love writing for my blog, but jesus…it’s rough sometimes. People are so critical when it comes to feminism, that I just can’t seem to get it right.
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27 11 / 2010
Another night, another hashtag to crawl through for absolute fuckwads. We have it all. Fatphobia, anorexia-shaming, sexism, homophobia, you name it.
Fucking sigh.
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27 11 / 2010
"That woman really looks like a man."
File this away under “things I probably used to say all the time, that now bothers the shit out of me”.
I can’t stand this when people point out that women look like men. First of all, what does this even mean? Do all women not have angled jawlines? Are all women slight and dainty? Do all women look primped and perfect with makeup on and their hair all in the right place?
What looks masculine, and what looks feminine? Why do we have to point out when people don’t meet society’s ridiculous assumptions about what people are and are not supposed to look like?
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16 11 / 2010
Are you fucking kidding me?!? Nothing irritates me more than the notion of women having the ability to make a man “feel like a man”. I tell you one thing, I would NEVER need a man to make me “feel like a woman”. What the fuck does that even mean? Do men inherently have gender identity disorders that only women can help them with?
Why on earth would it be a woman’s responsibility to reinforce a man’s overinflated ego in order to make him feel more masculine? That’s the biggest pile of bullshit I’ve ever read.
So, supporting your man = reinforcing their ego and making them feel like a man? Ugh.
20 1 / 2010
Football and sexism.
Someone on Twitter made a comment to me, saying that they don’t understand why I find upskirt iPhone applications sexist or why I have a feminist gaming blog when I am a football fan and don’t find football sexist.
Not only is this comparing apples to oranges and it a total strawman argument, but it’s ridiculous to suggest that someone can’t point out sexism in one instance if they like something that someone else finds sexist.
I don’t view football as inherently sexist because it’s a sport. If you’re referring to cheerleaders, I find some aspects of cheerleading to be sexist - such as their outfits. However cheerleading is a sport. It requires athleticism, it is dangerous, it is competitive. Saying that the entire sport of cheerleading is sexist is belittling to the women who enjoy it. It’s anti-feminism to judge and shame women for the activities they like to partake in.
There are parts of football that ARE sexist. It isn’t a co-ed sport, so that is sexist. There is all sorts of negative comments towards the men who play it to “stop acting like a girl” when they get hurt. I will never deny there are elements of it that are disgusting and degrading towards women. That doesn’t change the fact that the baseline mechanics of the sport itself aren’t sexist and ARE fun for me to watch. I enjoy the sport and I put my blinders on to the cheerleaders (although I find them real fun to watch during halftime shows sometimes when they’re doing gymnastic moves). The entire sport IS NOT sexist. There are elements of it that are, just like elements of the game and movie industry.
However, there are sexist games - and I love the game industry and video games. It’s my goal to make people aware of the sexism and stereotypes and work to change it. In football, in my perfect world I would love for all the sexism to be gone. The fact that it is there doesn’t change my love for the sport, just gives me something to critically think about. I’m not a HUGE football fan. I cheer for my hometeam and watch it on Sundays. I’m a far bigger video game fanatic, and I’m quite vocal about the sexism in it. I can’t champion all causes, that would be emotionally exhausting (nor do I have the time and energy).
I found there to be major overtones of racism in the movie Avatar, yet I loved the movie. I listen to music and pop radio, despite hearing terrible song lyrics now and then that degrade women. I buy iPhone apps and support Apple despite some apps being sexist in the app store.
My argument is that this is completely apples-to-oranges. As a friend of mine said:
“I love the movie Superbad. It doesn’t make me a bad feminist who can’t talk about any movie’s sexism because some people feel it’s not cool to female characters.”
It’s exhausting being vocal about feminist causes. You spend 90% of your time explaining yourself to other people. There is even so much in-feminism shaming such as “You can’t be a feminist if you believe ____” or “You are a bad feminist because _____” that it is SO DRAINING at times.
