Sick.

Notes

So, I’m really sick. No, like REALLY sick.

Since last Saturday (almost a week now) I’m hardly able to keep food down. I’m having this strange neurological wave of discomfort that seems to be related to sounds right now, but was unrelated to anything before. I’m tasting metallic in my mouth. I’m dizzy. I can’t stay standing or go out walking for long at all. I can’t drive. I have to sleep sitting up. I’ve missed a week of work and I can’t even enjoy my time at home because I can’t spend long periods of time staring at a computer or TV screen. I’m nauseous periodically. I’m completely exhausted. I’ve seen 3 doctors, gone to the urgent care, and I’m on a slew of medication. I threw up at the restaurant during our Valentine’s Day dinner. I’ve nearly passed out on dozens of occasions. I had a fever of 102+ for a couple days. And I’ve lost 8 pounds in 6 days.

My doctor doesn’t seem to know what it is. He said my blood tests were basically inconclusive but that the most likely scenario is a bacterial infection of some sort. He started me on hardcore antibiotics yesterday, but when I called him and told him about this new sensitivity to sounds and these weird almost minor seizure-like moments of discomfort, he said I should probably stop the antibiotics. He said if I’m not better by tomorrow, to go to the urgent care and get a CT scan or other tests done.

I’m honestly sick of explaining this all to different doctors. Each one gives me their own unique look of almost disbelief and I feel myself needing to almost exaggerate my symptoms to make them pay any attention. This has only been a week, and it’s already debilitating. With no end in sight, I’m starting to worry about PTO at work and about moving my horse next weekend, and all sorts of other things I shouldn’t be worry about.

I seriously want to get better. I don’t know how much longer I can take this - I’m such an active person and this is really getting me down. I’m REPULSED by food, and I’m a foodie who normally loves food. All I can eat is saltines, cereal, and crackers. Luke is being so great about this, I’m once again reminded how lucky I am to have him.

I’m so frustrated. =(