Tango Bango

Okay vegetarians/vegans…

fucksubtlety:

Lately I’ve been giving a lot of thought to becoming a vegetarian/vegan. I say it like that because if I were to do it the plan would be to cut out meat completely and then over time phase out other animal products gradually. I know myself too well to think I could just wake up one day and be a successful vegan.

Being a vegetarian is something I’ve thought about my whole life. I made several attempts at it from around 7 - 12 (having never been much of a meat-eater anyway), but my family was definitely not terribly supportive of the idea, and I lacked the discipline at that age. It’s always been in the back of my mind, and lately I’ve been thinking about it a lot more seriously. My main motivation would be not contributing the unethical treatment of animals, but the health benefits are definitely helping to encourage me. I haven’t been taking very good care of myself lately.

I know several of my followers are vegetarian or vegan: do you have any advice? Any resources you think might help? As appealing as it is I’m sort of at a loss for how to start. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. It seems like it would make my life complicated in a lot more ways.

For one thing, my husband is not and will never be a vegetarian. So it seems like if I were to go vegetarian I would still be contributing to the unnecessarily cruel treatment of animals. There would still be meat being cooked in my house. I know I could at least stop cooking meat for my hubby (and I do most of the cooking), but it just seems…complicated. And then if I were to go vegan there’s a whole slew of other problems. Like giving up leather. This wouldn’t be a problem if I didn’t already own any, but I do. My car has leather seats - getting a new car isn’t going to be feasible any time in the next few years, so even if I made the transition to vegan I’d still be driving around on leather and that certainly seems hypocritical. I have an amazing purse that my husband bought me that is made of leather, and I don’t think I could ever give up using it. It’s one of a kind, and I lusted over it for months (because of the design more than the material), and he surprised me with it only after listening to me swear up and down that if I ever had a bag like that I wouldn’t need another one again. I’m not terribly materialistic - I have a leather jacket I’d be happy to get rid of - but something like that with sentimental value would be much harder to get rid of.

So then I think that I COULD settle for simply being a vegetarian, but if the whole reason for cutting meat from my diet is based on how animals are treated it seems hypocritical to still use other animal products. Can I justify keeping the leather since the animals are already dead? That really doesn’t seem any better to me, even though I know I’ve seen people use that excuse to justify wearing recycled leathers.

So that’s pretty much the conundrum. Help me out?

The big thing to remember is that this isn’t an all-or-nothing sort of deal.  If you decide morally and ethically that eating animals isn’t for you, then stop eating them.  I don’t think you need to give up things you already own, after all -the damage was done in those cases.  But going forward, think of all the animals that won’t have to die just so YOU can eat them.  

I am engaged to be married!

It’s time for a real life blog post, because I have plenty to say!

First of all, the biggest news is that my longtime boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me on Saturday!  He gave me the most beautiful and perfect ring that I always dreamed of.  It was so simple and subdued and sweet and pleasant.  We both cried, naturally I accepted, and now I’m awaiting the ring resizing so that I can wear it.  

I’ve actually been ‘engaged’ before.  But it wasn’t much of an engagement. I’d been dating the guy for 2 years, I pressured him into buying me a ring because I felt insecure about our relationship.  I was young (19). I went with him to pick out the ring.  He never actually ever proposed to me, I just called him my fiance.  We never made any plans to actually get married.  I’d like to say that he just basically bought me a promise ring, though there was never any promise made.  The relationship ended in 2006.

When Luke and I first met each other, I knew that it was the real thing.  The moment we talked to each other, I was drawn to him physically and emotionally.  I wanted to talk to him for hours, to stare into his eyes forever, to never leave his side.  We started dating just after Thanksgiving in 2007, moved in together the next month, and together we have been through a lot.  We’ve moved to many different homes together, even moved from San Diego to San Francisco together.  We’ve both grown in our careers together, reached milestones such as our first vehicles paid off, our first joint account, our first family health insurance.  He’s been my best friend since the day we met.  

I never tire of him.  We have a healthy relationship where we both split duties and do not have rigid gender roles.  We are equal earners in the household.  We both want the same things out of life (children, house ownership, successful careers, travel).  We see eye-to-eye politically, and he can put up with my ranting, my feminism, my outspokenness about issues that upset me.  We share hobbies such as board game playing, video games, watching TV, and loving food and going out to dinner.  Living with him has always just “felt right”.  When he isn’t around, I miss him.  

When I’m with Luke, I just feel like I can be me.  I have never been ashamed of who I am.  He knows that I’m clumsy and sometimes oblivious, and laughs alongside me.  He knows that I’m sensitive and cry on occasion and he is always supportive.  He tells me I’m beautiful and has no problems with the fact that I’m overweight. He thinks of me and is courteous and generous.  We don’t argue over silly things — we have rarely got in “fights”.  Luke supports the choices I make in life like no one else I know.  When other people judge me, Luke stands by me.  He’s made me realize just how awesome I am.  

We didn’t “need” to get married.  I don’t believe in the patriarchal concepts of passing ownership of me from my dad to my fiance.  I don’t know what I’m going to do about my last name at this time.  We’re not sure what kind of ceremony we’ll have, or if we’ll just exchange vows at the courthouse.  I just know that I absolutely have loved him to pieces for years and that I can’t imagine anything other than spending the rest of my life with him.  I am literally the luckiest woman in the world, and I can’t believe how well my life is working out for me. 

Taylor Swift: The Ultimate Feminist

meganmmalone:

About once a week I try to post something on my Tumblr other than a cute picture of a puppy or quote from some NBC comedy. Tonight I’m going to write about Taylor Swift. If you know me at all you know that I am obsessed with her. I’m not embarrassed to admit that I have all of her CDs, a poster of her in my room, and have had floor seat tickets to two of her concerts…

I like Taylor because she’s a little awkward and weird but she’s sweet and passionate and she works hard and that’s why she is so successful. I don’t think she has the best vocals in the world (in fact there are plenty of musicians I can think of off the top of my head that sing better than she does). I wouldn’t say she’s the best songwriter, guitarist, or anything else. But she is a good person and a great role model and even though Gaga and Rihanna might have better voices I can’t say the same about them.

I recently read this article that states Taylor is anti-feminist because she represents the conservative, innocent woman that all women should strive to be like. But what exactly is it that makes someone a feminist? Do they have to wear a meat dress to an awards show? Do they have to sing about having sex in the air? Can’t a feminist just be a normal girl that has achieved success just by being a normal girl? I would consider myself to be a feminist. The word has negative connotations but really it just means someone who believes that women and men should be treated as equals. Taylor is only the second woman to win the CMA Entertainer of the Year Award twice, although several men have won it more than once. She has beat out legends in the music industry and won over 90 awards. This isn’t because of her voice or her perfectly curly blonde hair, it’s because of her passion and dedication to what she does. She is inspiring, not just to young girls, but to anyone who has dreams and hopes of achieving them.

Maybe wearing sweaters instead of swim suits in a music video is “conservative.” But it’s who she is. Gaga dresses up in a costume every time she makes a public appearance. I like Lady Gaga’s music all right, but I don’t have any idea who she really is as a person. Taylor makes it clear who she is and she’s not at all afraid to be herself. That’s why she is so popular, and that’s why, in my opinion, she is the ultimate feminist.

Sorry, but you don’t become feminist just because you’re a woman who has made great achievements.  Even Lady Gaga herself doesn’t identify as feminist, so I’m not sure why you’re making so many Gaga comparisons.  It also seems that while you understand the definition of feminism (believing in equality for all genders) that you don’t fully understand the nuances of the feminist viewpoints.

Taylor Swift isn’t anti-feminist because she’s conservative.  She is anti-feminist because of her song lyrics that reinforce stereotypes about how “good girls” should be.  She is anti-feminist because her songs portray her as a young girl who isn’t whole until she gets that man that she ‘needs’.  She’s anti-feminist because of how one-dimensional her lyrics are.  She’s anti-feminist because her lyrics use internalized sexism to put down other girls who are stealing men away from her.  She’s anti-feminist because she sees the concept of virginity as “all you have” and when you give it away to “a boy” you are left with nothing.  That’s not feminism.

Taylor Swift’s privilege is a big part of why she became successful - her parents’ money enabled her to have all the opportunities in life she had.  She is the epitome of privilege: white, beautiful by societal ideals, slender, well off financially, able bodied, heterosexual (for what we know). She is not a feminist icon simply because she’s a woman who made it big in show business.

I’m all for pro-choice and all that…

awkward-virgin-angel:

…but waiting until the last possible moment to abort just because you can is utterly ridiculous. If you know you’re pregnant and you know you want to abort, then just do it. Don’t wait around and let that baby grow inside you…ffs, it’s still a person, even more so when you hit that abortion limit thing (24 weeks?) 

Who does that?  I doubt anyone does.  Later term abortions are more expensive and more risky.  

More often, you’ll see people who were aborting late because:

1) They couldn’t afford the abortion at the earlier time when they wanted it

2) They were lied to by a ‘crisis pregnancy center’ that deceived them into thinking they had plenty of time.

3) They weren’t aware of the resources available for them to get an abortion earlier.

4) They didn’t have transportation or the means to get to an abortion clinic.

5) It wasn’t an easy decision, and it took them awhile to make that final choice.

I’ve never heard of a woman who just keeps the baby inside them and delays the abortion for no good reason.